The breakthrough

Hoorah everyone, today is so much better.
I worked things out with my mom, so in case you were worrying about me, things are on the mend! And, I learned something too!
While talking with my mom, I realized that one of the biggest struggles that was bothering me most deep inside was that hideous feeling that I was just a robot doing the work I can do and completely missing out on the communal interactions and love that should go along with our work - both in the home and at my internship. Maybe I was just having a rough couple days, because in a matter of 24 hours, that feeling has much alleviated itself. I know that I sometimes have a hard time opening up to people right away, I mean really opening up, not just being friendly. So, I'm trying to push past that to jump start some of my relationships at work.
One of the things I found frustrating at Calvary was that I felt like people didn't have time for me. They didn't have time to find work for me, or to just sit down and talk to me. But, I realized that that isn't true - the main problem was that I wasn't allowing them to give me time because it made me feel guilty for some strange reason. So, I have to keep telling myself that I am worth their time. I met with my mentor, Cindy, today and we talked for about an hour. This conversation was really helpful for me because I started to open up and she helped me reflect positively on the past week. I'm amazed at what a rollercoaster this internship has been so far...maybe it's just me... maybe it's just the effects of the birth control I started taking a month ago in preparation for getting married.... I've heard that stuff can mess you up....
Anyway, sorry if that was awkward for any of you.
The main purpose of this post is to offer encouragement to myself, and any who may read this. I feel much better today, and that feels wonderful.